Darkness has had it’s thumb on me most of my life — Too heavy for me to lift off of me; negative thoughts consumed my mind by constantly telling me I was a failure, a parasite, and that I would never amount to anything.
I could not run away from the negativity of my mind that was causing me so much pain, nearly destroying me completely. It disoriented me and had me perceive that people looked at me in a way that wasn’t even true. I felt they were judging me and also thinking I was a failure. I had no confidence or self-esteem.
Most of my life, I battled the thoughts of my mind that tried over and over to bring me down and convince me that I was nothing — it tried very hard by even using the most intimate people I trusted to continue the mental abuse over again. Instead of encouraging me, they were forever criticizing things about myself. In my insecurities, I seemed to attract the wrong types of relationships. I had no concept of what a healthy relationship looked like; therefore, I never knew any better but to be abused over and over again in different relationships that I was in.
Pain kept me isolated from ever knowing my true-self.
The only thing that kept me grounded through the roughest times of my life was the Word of God that told me I was not the things unhealthy relationships were telling me or that my mind tried to convince me of. The Word of God gave me hope that maybe I could one day believe the things that the Bible said were true about myself.
Through all my dark days and struggles with pain, the Word of God made me a believer.
As God complements in opposites, He has shown me what the opposite of pain is and what true love looks like so that I can know what a healthy relationship is.
Darkness is a lie and a thief that wants to keep you from ever knowing the truth of God in you and who you truly are.
Darkness is not real; what is real is light and the light in you wants to shine bright for the whole world to see.