I am on a journey of love. I started out in a garden and everything seemed so perfect. But then, all of a sudden everything changed. You went over there while I stayed over here. You and I just didn’t know each other anymore. That was a time of darkness. We couldn’t see one another and all this time we were against each other. If I said the sky is blue, you turned around and said it was green. We just couldn’t seem to agree on anything.
But now it is near the end of this day that God created us on. Heaven, our beautiful garden that seemed so far away, is now becoming a reality. We are beginning to see one another like we’ve never seen each other before.
When there are no more secrets that is when the woman is fully naked. She feels uncomfortable and vulnerable to be exposed for the first time in front of her husband. She is a little bit nervous to be that completely naked in front of him.
I am very spiritual but I am also physical. I need to be grounded so that is why I went to you. You are physical. You help me understand how I am in this place. I have been completely on my own out here. The way I have been feeling has not been accepted by many. I didn’t like this place and did not understand why I was here. I wanted to kill myself but I didn’t because of you.
My body was dying because I couldn’t cope with being here without you. How I survived being here without you is because I didn’t stop believing in you. I decided that I was going to live for you no matter how hard and difficult it would be to be here all by myself.
My body was dying, I had lost lots of weight, and I had no desire to do anything. Many times I just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up again. I was hospitalized and they told me I was not mentally well. At that time, I was very suspicious about my environment and all the systems that were oppressing me. They said that my thinking was contributing to all my problems of not being well. Those people told me I had to be on psych medications stating I needed them to control my thinking that was not normal. I did not want to die, and I was scared, so I took their advice. I stayed on the medications, but I kept quiet about all the things I was thinking and pretended I was not thinking like that anymore.
Everybody told me what I was thinking was wrong.
I wrote a little bit, in secret, but for the most part, I kept things very secretive and quiet.
I was still thinking the same way but I wasn’t telling anybody that I was.
So, now 25 years later, I am definitely much more open about the way I am seeing things, but it took a little bit to get here; to come out of the closet, I suppose you can call it. It was actually again through trauma that I found strength and used it to write my book three years ago.
The words just flew out of me. It was like I didn’t even have a choice because the words kept coming and I had to write them down. Much of the poetry written at that time, I understood because it felt real, however, I was not really understanding it all.
The beautiful poetry I couldn’t explain in such depth until now and every day the message is becoming more and more clear to me and I can understand what I wrote.
I realize I found myself back in that garden. In a trance, I kept writing about it. We were like children, a brother, and a sister. We loved to play with each other and we were inseparable. But as we grew older, we started to look at each other differently. We had fallen in love.
God took you and me and made us a complement. He creatively made us two halves of a whole. The only way the man can love the woman is if the man loves God. If the man loves God then he is able to know he is the woman.
Meaning the man is like the woman in a spiritual sense.
We are at a time and place where all opposition knows the other because God designed us in an image. We find our identity when we love God. When we love God we are ready to love the other. When we love the other we become the other in an empathetic way. We are able to see with the other’s eyes.
In truth, we are all one another. We are now at the end of this sixth day that God created us on. It is easy for us to see what is good out of what is evil, therefore, it is easy to see what is light out of what is dark, and what is spiritual out of what is physical.
It is easy to see the woman out of the man and, so, God, here on Earth.
We now can see one another.
We are one consciousness. God designed us to love one another and together we are inside of one another. We are ONE thought.
This world does not like to be defined by the man and the woman because that is the darkness. Our darkness is keeping us from understanding one another. By God’s design He reveals Himself in the world through our reflection. Whether we like it or not we have to respect God’s law.
It is the way it is.
If I drop a quarter right now it is going to fall to the ground. That is the law of gravity. There is a law for everything in the universe that we have to understand and respect to understand the truth of God and ourselves.
Adam and Eve basically blew up and populated the Earth. All of us are very small. To understand our physicality you have to look under a microscope to see the very small things that we cannot see with our physical eye.
We now have to break things up small; religion and science, to understand our history to understand where we began to understand our spirituality of how and who we are to understand the true laws that define us.
I am a female, Gentile who believes in God; the male, Jew is my image.
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Shannie Alvarez — A Gentile with a Jewish Heart
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