I am Darkness; He is Light

I hope everyone had a nice Easter/Passover weekend? I believe that there is a lot of learning during this time if we are paying attention to observe these times that God has appointed for us to understand. There is meaning that God has sprinkled all around, perhaps it’s even hidden, for only the eyes of those who are truly seeking; for those who are His to understand.

We all know the story of Passover and we all know the story of Easter, but what does it all mean? Why is it that in this modern-day, we should even still recognize holy days?

Enmity is Darkness

The Enmity wants us to Forget

In Judaism, right now, they are doing something called counting the Omer. I still don’t really understand it, but I tried doing it last year with an app that Chabad recommended. From what I understand it is about recognizing a time starting from the second night of Passover, to count seven complete weeks, for a total of 49 days. At the end of the seven-week period, is another holy day called Shavuot or Pentecost, which carries an even deeper meaning for its believers.

God is the Universe

It is my belief that God is the goodness found in everything. He spoke to the Jews as He also spoke to the non-Jews. All of His creation is carefully nurtured by Him. As a non-Jew, I am recognizing that we are all a part of His divine creation. He created us all. We each are created to know God to know ourselves to know the unique piece of God’s identity that we can share with one another to create a better world.

We live to grow into a deeper understanding of Him and ourselves. We are all meant to understand that we are all carefully interwoven into one another. Awareness makes us in tune with our bigger self, which allows us to unite as one thought, as one heartbeat, and one breath; thinking, beating, and breathing in unison with one another.

On My Own, I am Nothing

I realize that on my own, I do not make good choices. That is because I don’t have the ability to make good choices without the knowledge of God. When left to my own devices; I fail, time and time again. I failed to the point of exhaustion. I learned that I was actually my worst enemy. That is when I questioned, “How can life be like this?” I found life to be too challenging. I was beaten to a pulp by it. As if, black and blue all over, I was abused so badly, I just finally laid there and waited for my last breaths. I anticipated them, hoping life would finally put me out of my own misery.

I am powerless. I am useless. Looking back, It is so easy for me to see that any good choices that I make are only because of God and His light. I am the opposite of Him. I am darkness. Yet, I am created to be in His image?

Perfection is expected to be delivered by me?

It is expected by me to deliver perfection in a world that is chaos, dysfunction, and corruption. It is oppressive. Every minute of the day the world is fighting my intention to be and deliver perfection.

That is Us

We are the dysfunction.

We all created dysfunction. We are darkness. I realize that I cannot fight the dysfunction because this dysfunction is bigger than me. It has been here since the beginning of time and is an accumulation of every bad, ego-driven, independent choice, that we all ever made.

Only God is perfect.

I realize it is me that has to accept my environment for what it is. It is me that has to move in the flow of it all. I have to stop fighting and resisting the darkness all around me. I have to just let it be.

I am only in control of fighting the darkness in me.

God is bigger than darkness. If I just accept the darkness, I realize that is when God is able to work with me, through me, to deliver the perfection I desire amongst it all.

There is nothing good about me.

Anything good came from and is God.

It is never from me.