Without God, we are narcissists. We are driven by our ego and our desire to satisfy the self. In our natural self, we are narcissistic. That is because when we are born the very first thing that we do is cry, wailing; “Feed me, NOW!” It is all about ourselves from the very first moment we take our very first breath.
At some point, we are meant to grow up.
Narcissistic behaviour is very concerned about the self first and then the other. The narcissist is the opposite of God. God is selfless love and only loves the other. In our true design, we are created to be in the image of God. So, why do we have the narcissist?
To learn God we need to learn darkness. God created darkness to understand God. There has to be the opposite to reflect Him. We cannot see light unless we have darkness. We cannot understand what is good unless when know what is bad.
If I am told not to touch the stove, but I don’t know why, then what do I want to do? I want to touch the stove. When I learn that the stove is hot, I get burned. That is when I know not to touch the stove again. We always learn from our mistakes. We do not understand until we actually experienced the truth.
The Slave Mentality
God is revealed in the relationship between a man and a woman. That is because the man and the woman are created in the image of God. Together, in each of their identities, is the male and female identity of God. The male and female relationship also oppose one another but are carefully designed to also be a reflection of God to each other when they truly love each other by loving the other selflessly.
In our narcissistic dysfunction, the enmity or the darkness, which is our curse, was created for us to fight against our natural selves and, instead, nurture each other with the understanding of God’s love. The enmity has been keeping each other in darkness. Our eyes will not be opened until we both love one another selflessly. Until we love selflessly we will not understand God’s divine love.
And I will put enmityGenesis 3:15
Between you and the woman,
And between your seed and her Seed;
He shall bruise your head,
And you shall bruise His heel.
We may feel like we are loving the other with love, but be careful. The enmity is sneaky. You may be convincing yourself that you love the other when you are actually loving yourself. Anytime we love to receive something in return we are not loving the other. Love can be selfish if we are expecting something in return. Thinking for self-satisfaction seems natural for survival, but in actuality, it is not healthy. Thinking for the self only brings on more dysfunctional thinking and enables more dysfunctional fears. We end up becoming a slave to ourselves instead of understanding God’s love.
There are healthy love relationships that reflect God’s selfless love and then there are codependent relationships that are self-satisfying. Codependent relationships feed an individual’s fear or insecurity. The dependent person needs to love the other to satisfy their ego, which ultimately fulfills their own selfish needs that feed their fear.
Out of Egypt
We might feel like we are good, religious people because we do good things for one another, but be careful! Do not fool yourself that you are being a good person because you do so you can have — This is selfish and God is never selfish.
We can easily become slaves to rules, monotony, and become complacent thinking that because I am doing something for you, I can have the things that I want. You might also be thinking that because I do for you that will make the other person love you back.
But love does not work that way.
Love is Free
Love never expects anything in return. Love just loves simply because it knows that love is always the right choice.
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Yet, be aware of the narcissist and the codependent relationship. Since the narcissist is self-seeking it will drain every single bit of true love away. Do not give your pearls away to swine ~ Matthew 7:6
God’s love is special, therefore, it is wrong to allow others to take God’s love for granted or continue to disrespect it.
A very good talk with Rabbi David Aaron. He is my favourite rabbi who, for sure, is one I am in love with. Even if you are not Jewish, for sure you will be inspired by Rabbi Aaron’s therapeutic massages. Listen to Getting Beyond Ourselves Is The Secret To Our Greatest Self-Soul Talk by Israel News Talk Radio