The Queen’s Gambit

The female side of the brain is submissive to the male side of the brain. The male side of the brain is the God-head. The God-head loves the female-self, but when we are acting without God then we are acting in ego. The male-self is dominant and he makes the choices. The female-self is intuition because she knows the difference between right and wrong.

The woman-self is our conscience in knowing the difference between good and bad of truth to our self. 

The fight with my man-self

I began my search for God thirty years ago after being very depressed and finally suicidal.

My mind was consumed with negative thinking (female/good versus bad). I was trapped by my male-self that did not know God (ego). I strongly believed that I was bad. I had little knowledge or hope of anything good. I had struggled with trying to make good decisions all my life. The dominant male in myself chose to believe that I was bad and the only logical (male) solution was that I should die. I really could not see out of it.

What changed was when I chose to have faith in God. Then I could choose in the tiniest remnant of hope, love, and goodness that I knew.

Today, I struggle with making the male in the physical world dominant because my female-self is dominant in my mind. I find when I become intimate with men, my female self is too intense. I am seeing more and more I need to be quieter (female) in my physical self. This is probably why I’m still not married in my fiftieth year. I am just trying to learn balance like everyone else is, but in the world the male is structure. I struggle with structure, but I know structure is necessary.

That is why I like Jewish. As a Gentile woman, Jewish is my opposite. Now I can almost relate to us as being a big brain. I am very attracted to Orthodox Judaism because it is the most structured and it is also trying to understand God. It is the most challenging for me to understand how structure complements my faith in God and why because I am thinking with reason (female) but also logical (male) as it all has to make sense to me too.

Writing is my outlet as I can be the freest in my thinking without having to conform to so much structure, yet, I desire to keep the balance of my own male/female in myself in line with the rules of God.

I learned confidence in these two ultra extremes, male/female, mostly because I like healthcare. I like to help people who are sick but structure has to be dominant in order for me to provide good care to my patients. I don’t like the structure in healthcare and this is stressful for me, but I know structure is good. As I submit to the structure I see how it complements me to provide the best care that I’d like to give to my patients.

The Man and The Woman

The curse is lifted when the woman sees Messiah in the man and the man sees God in the woman.

God’s love is selfless, so we only know how to love one another.

Finally, we see one another. The curse from our first sin has been lifted:

I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your seed and her seed; He shall bruise your head, And you shall bruise His heel.

Genesis 3:15

If we believe in God, we will be able to recognize when we are making choices because of our ego. In each of ourselves, is the same struggle of the male and female mind.

That is because we are the image of God. When we are balanced in our heads first then we can find the complement of the image of God in our physical male/female relationships.

In the physical world, it is not to say the man or woman is better because the man/woman struggle in our brain is the same for everyone. If we love God, we will love correctly and love the female side of our brain first. Our choice (male) will be to choose from faith (female) in what is good (female). Faith in what is good is the female God-head. If we always choose from faith in God or what is good then we will have everything we want. When we are in ego then we make choices without trusting the female side of the brain. It is easier for us to not trust the female side of the brain because she is what will be and the male side of the brain is what is.

God makes it possible for us to know Him intimately because He gave us Messiah.

If we always choose from faith in God (female) instead of from ego then we always walk with belief that we will have. The female brain operates more out of feeling because she is less structured. The male operates more from structure because he is physical and what is.

God makes things challenging in finding Him because he reveals Himself in opposites. I believe because the male is dominant in the physical world, the female side of the brain is supposed to be loved first. She is being loved by the God-head from the male-side of the brain. In the spiritual world, the female-side is also a God-head when the male-side choses her. In the physical world, the physical woman is submissive to the physical man. The relationship between the Gentiles to the Jews is the same way.

I believe we have to love the female-side of the brain like God loves His Bride to break our curse.

The enmity is always trying to cause hostility between the man and the woman and it begins in our brain, first. If we recognize the enmity (ego) and, instead, line ourselves up with God, all things will fall into its proper balance.

With God there is no time, there is only learning how to make good choices by understanding how to prioritize. God is truth (female, good and evil) and balance (male, choice).

We are all free to make our own choices as we understand what is right from our female-side of the brain. As long as the balance in ourselves is lined up with God, we are balanced in the physical with all our other relationships here on Earth.

The Mother

Learning our male and female sides of the brain begins as a child. Our first male and female relationships that matter the most to us are our parents. Our upbringing sets the stage for how we learn to think. No one has had a perfect life, so are we all doomed now? As long as we respect both of our parents we can learn to put everything back in its proper balance to have the true perspective that we need in life. As a child, our parents are the image of God, the man, and the woman.

The woman is mother. She is the Queen of all women and the image of the person who sits at that right-hand spot next to God.

He is I AM, She is I WILL BE

Together WE ARE ONE