God, Poetry

My Fear Wasn’t Real

There is a reason for everything. Fear is expressed through anxiety. My symptoms would always change. I became a skilled craftsman, creatively developing multiple coping mechanisms in an attempt to deal with my fears. Many times I was mortified at how my body would react to an uncomfortable situation. Anxiety attacks, so embarrassing! I could feel another one come along knowing now what caused one. Initial reaction, stay away from ever doing that again. A simple routine, not so simple anymore. Paralyzed, like a deer caught by a set of headlights. Can’t move, can’t speak, can’t sleep. Hating myself for not knowing how to be normal.

There is a reason for fear. I realized it was telling me something. It isn’t realistic. I know it isn’t God. When I am at peace, I am with God. Fear became a good thing, as it drove me to know what wasn’t fear. Fear tells me when something is wrong, therefore, it keeps me grounded. It shows me I need to change something. It also keeps me dependent on God.

Don’t ignore fear. Confront it. If you ignore it or let it keep you in fear, then you let fear rule you. Make a change to make it right. That is what fear is for. Don’t be afraid of change. It won’t kill you to change, but allowing fear to rule you will ruin you.

One more thing, we are perfectionists, but we’re not perfect, so don’t be so hard on yourself.

That’s helped me get by. Maybe, it can help you too.

Darkness

We all have our darkness,

We all have our pain,

That can push us to identify,

Something bigger than ourselves.

Even darkness has purpose;

Without darkness,

There would be no light.

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Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

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